Friday, 25 May 2012
I Alef Seladi am feeling today like a pebble on the shore. So many of us hopefully waiting for the hand that will find us and throw us into the river where amazing travels and adventures begin; where dreams come true and we are useful. But if you're on one of the bottom layers of pebbles, the chances of being chosen are lowered. I feel as one of those bottom pebbles; with lots of promise and talent to be the perfect fit for that hand that's looking for me but yet the hand gives up after searching on the surface and conforms with one of the top pebbles even if it's not that great, but "it'll do".
I have been living in this new city for almost 2 months now; yes, it's a short time but I'm yet to have a job as a photographer. I'm full of determination, imagination and creativity; it literally floods my mind everyday to a point I have to write it or draw it down. Not to brag but I AM talented. Years of studies and practice in theory, arts, inspiration, aesthetics were not in vain. Years of exercising my eyes every day to learn to REALLY see the world are not to be taken lightly; I literally have a trained eye for beauty.
The competition is vast but they're not all good which is sad. I feel frustrated by the concept of beauty this city has. Where is it anyway? It's as if the hand looking for a perfect flat and shiny pebble chooses a roundish one that looks more like it came out of an animal and believe, actually believe, it will work to bounce on the water. I have met amazing photographers in this small time and they all suffer with the same situation. How can art boost in a city that does not have the eye to choose among the best? I have seen it happening not only in photography but all kinds of art. Well, I think dance it's an exception. But it seems more like a popularity contest rather than a talent show; believe me, the best ones never win popularity contests.
We, the professional, passionate and dedicated photographers are here, looking for you, waiting for you. But the first step is yours to take; to choose us, to trust us. To really dig your hand into that pile of pebbles to find the one you wished for. We do our best to yell, stretch our hands, jump and shake to get to the surface but it won't matter if you don't train your eyes as well. Hope I get found. I've been screaming but no results yet and my savings are slowly disappearing... I'll have to make drastic changes if I want to stay in this city. I HAVE to stay in this city; I sacrificed everything for it. This has to work because I can't simply go back.