Why Aging IS Ok. I mean it.

Hair and Makeup by Kada Issa (Bombay Beauty Loft)

In modern times, we are thought that old is not good. You should avoid getting old at any expense. There's also multiple options to avoid looking old: beauty products, plastic surgeries, botox, facials, are just a few of an almost infinite pile of what's call now an industry. Yes, there's a trend now about being beautiful at 40, 50 and up but is fake! Yes it is. Look at the photos of celebrities stating "beautiful at (insert over 40 age here)". Do they look like they aged gracefully, froze in time or had surgery? Let's be honest here, these people are cheered on the fact that they STILL LOOK YOUNG at their age. 

But aging in the earlier civilizations and for many, many centuries, was considered a great deal. Age (wrinkles and grey hair) was considered equally proportional to wisdom. The older you would be, the more important you would become for the community. In ancient Israel for example, the elderly would seat at the city gates and people would come to them for guidance on solving situations, big or small, and to help on solving quarrels. Why? Because they had a lifetime experience to know better. They had lived what the younger ones haven't yet. People wanted to learn from them and they were respected.

At some point we were taught that aging was wrong and obsolete. And as women we bought and swallow the whole thing entirely. We buy beauty products to slow the pass of time, to erase the wrinkles, to hide our aging. I personally haven't bought into that completely. I DO use beauty products but more for caring for my skin than anything else. I'm 32. Yes, I'm still young and I might not be stressed out about wrinkles yet, but I honestly don't see them as a curse. It will eventually happen and I'm hoping to wear them all (and my grey hair) proudly instead of succumbing into the lies.

My great grandmother, my grandmother and my mom (for some of her time) fought/fight endlessly against aging. I would see them spending big lengths of time in front of their magnifying mirrors pulling strand by strand of grey hair off their scalps, spending lots of money on beauty products (specially the anti-wrinkles products) and let's not even count the hours at a hair salon dying their hair. My grandma even had a surgery to stretch the skin of her forehead so she could look younger (she thinks we didn't notice the whole thing but oh we sure did!). We all know better than to dare ask their age. After years of living under the same trend, my mom decided it was time to stop. She still dyes her hair (mostly to be playful with colours) but she leaves her grey strands out of it because she wants to show them. She doesn't see her wrinkles with worry but happiness (check out My Wrinkles "Dictionary" post) and she doesn't feel embarrassed anymore about her bifocal glasses when she wears them.

She is leading by example at our house and we're very happy to see this change. She's empowering herself through the beauty of her aging self. That's why my 50+ sessions are important to me; I want to empower mature women through the beauty God gave them and the beauty that has been drawn onto them by the wisdom learned through their experiences. 

I did this session of my mother because of that. Because I see beauty all over her and because (her knowing it or not) she brings light with her smile, everywhere she goes. I love you mami!

Hair and Makeup by Kada Issa (Bombay Beauty Loft)

Making Sense of these Piles

Photo by Fela Photography

I can say I'm an organized person. Give me a messy room and you'll be impress with what happens after. My methodology is piling everything by "category" while throwing away the useless trash; then I proceed to place each group in the right spot organized by size, color or alphabetically and finally if necessary, I'll tag the the storage box or drawer. Yes, I am very good at it and it makes me feel good to see the final result after all that work. Is not a huge life achievement but is the achievement of the hour and I celebrate it with my own not-seen-by-other-eyes happy dance.


But I'm bad at keeping the personal and intangible tidy. It is always said to make a list of your short, mid and long term goals; create plans for your life. I have tried all these by going by the book and guess how many have gone exactly as planned... none. And then I find myself buried in piles of worry, frustration and fight for what I wrote down vs. what's really happening. Nothing makes sense and it becomes this big mess in my head which I cannot understand plus the shame of not being at the level of society's "aspirations" even though I DO try. 


But I also have clarity moments when my mind is able to pile them in categories and trash the useless thoughts and behaviors. Then the incredible happens: I'm able to make art out these piles; shape them and transform them into beautiful creations I make tangible for people to see, for people to connect with thanks to my photography, and that just feels amazing! Then everything makes sense and I know it be alright. Yes, everything WILL be alright.