Being Different: You Are Not Alone

Despite that we are being told constantly that we shouldn't care about what people say, the truth is that it DOES affect in one way or the other. It affects because it is human nature to feel approved. Approval make us feel included and feeling included make us belong. We aren't made to be isolated individuals but individuals inside a community.

Now, you might be thinking about those who go against it all and think my words are incorrect. Even though these people seem to go on their own, the truth is they are not alone in the journey the chose; they just haven't found their way to their community.

When I was in school, I felt like I didn't belong. I was a "law abiding teenager" (which is uncommon); I wouldn't do things I believed were stupid choices, always measuring the consequences of those choices. I was called dumb for not joining. Passionate about learning, with a huge imagination, always dreaming high, full of ideas, but they were called silly by others. I studied hard because I wanted scholarships so my mom wouldn't worry about not being able to pay my school- a hunting worry. I was hated quite a lot because of that; my peers simply didn't understand the reasons behind my "nerdiness".  I wouldn't help my classmates cheat during an exam and I knew it would be uncomfortable to deal with them after class being called names, getting shoes thrown my way and even not letting me out of the classroom. Many of my ideas were thrown to the curb as one makes a paper ball and throws it to the trash. It was frustrating and confusing. I thought maybe I was doing something wrong because everything seemed to be against me but it was in my nature; I couldn't rub it off or perhaps I was very strong willed without meaning it. I know of people who are amazing, talented and choose to lower all of their selves just to belong. People who choose to dumb themselves before being rejected.

When I started University everything changed. My classmates were like me. I was still the more nerdy of the class but I was not made fun. Instead, I was being seek for advice, for help, people wanted to hear my ideas and be part of them and I grew more in that time than I did in so many years with my school peers. The difference? I found my community. I wasn't flying solo anymore.

After many years and circumstances that shaped my life into a muddy situation in which I was stuck, I knew I needed to leave my birth country. Who I was just didn't fit well anymore so I end up in Canada. After a week of living here I knew this was my place. That was 8 years ago. During these 8 years I have still feel strongly about that thought and this week I finally became a canadian citizen. It hasn't been easy but it has been gratifying and I have been blessed in many many ways, big and small. I'm flourishing as a person and as an artist. My skills have found their way to help others through Reveal Your True Beauty. I'm blessed but I know I'm still growing and the path is long with bumps on the way. I'm not scared about that. Sometimes overwhelmed, sometimes stressed, sometimes completely ecstatic but not afraid.

Take a deep breath, close your eyes and listen to your soul. But really listen to it, in humility and honest truth with yourself. What does it say? Ask questions: What do I truly believe in and why?

It's easy to feel like you don't belong in your own little world, city or even country. Your views of life clash against those of your peers and you feel rejection. You might feel that perhaps you are wrong because everything and everyone around you tells you that. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and listen to your soul. But really listen to it, in humility and honest truth with yourself. What does it say? Ask questions: What do I truly believe in and why?

Now here's the thing: if it's something you truly believe, educate yourself. Learn about what you believe and learn about the opposite too, because being blinded to other points of view make you a foolish person; but learning other perspectives brings wisdom and understanding.

Being blinded to other points of view make you a foolish person; but learning other perspectives brings wisdom and understanding.

Now seek. Seek like-minded people. Find your community. The beauty of living with internet is that you can do it from your own home but don't forget to take the trip and talk too. Living it is another thing and you learn more from the experience. 

You are not alone; just in the wrong place. If everything and everyone around you works against you, break free, find your solace- Find your happiness. Find your True Beauty.

Revealing Kimberly: A Boost For Getting Back On Your Feet

Hair and Makeup by Kada Issa from Bombay Beauty Loft

Every time I finish a REVEAL YOUR TRUE BEAUTY session, I feel blessed by the opportunity of meeting that person. Is not only about the fun experience we live together during their photo shoot but about how amazing and special each one of them are, in their own unique way. I'm grateful that they trust me and were their true selves and that I was able to help them take a brake about everything that's noisy in their lives and enjoy being them. I love watching it and being part of it. It's truly a very special thing!

Kimberly won a session through Studio Intent Boutique. She wrote to me saying how grateful she was about her prize and how much she needed it. Her husband had recently passed away and she needed a boost. Urgently.

So the Reveal Your True Beauty Team and me did what we do best: spoil her and make her feel loved... and beautiful.

Considering what an amazing lady she is, this was no problem at all. What I treasure the most though, is the caring relationship we all built with her. Truly something special.

Isn't she beautiful?!

To get a better idea of who she is, I'll leave at the hands of her friends:

"Our friend Kimberly King is strong, gracious and beautiful.  She has the unique ability to put everyone around her at ease.  She has a light, charming and infectious laugh.

She loves her friends, family and community with her whole heart and truly accepts people for who they are.  Her passion for the environment is manifested in her countless volunteer hours and career".

All of it is absolutely wonderfully true. But what touched our hearts the most was what the letter Kimberly wrote about her experience:

"Hello Fela, Chantal and Kada,

I struggle to find the words to tell you how grateful I am for the True Beauty experience I won.  Immediately after the reveal I felt I had to write down all the positive emotions I was feeling as there was so much negativity elsewhere in my life.  I ended up filling four pages but my ramblings were not something I wanted to share in their entirety.
 I have told you all in person how grateful I was for the experience but I wanted to send an actual note of thanks. All of you made me feel so special, comfortable, and beautiful.  I feel I have formed a lasting relationship with each of you which is a wonderful testament to how compatible you are as a team.  I know future clients will feel the warmth you bring to the True Beauty experience. 
 I was overwhelmed but deeply impressed at the quality of the photos.  Every shot was so unique, showed strong emotion and, of course, showed my true beauty.  I had no idea how good I would look without looking overdone.  I love the attitude I exude in the photos where I am not smiling.  I happily display my photos at home and proudly changed all my on-line profile pictures, garnering rave reviews from my contacts, friends, and family.  The photos continue to be an amazing confidence booster.
 Thank you for all the True Beauty experience gave me.  I highly recommend others within my circle take advantage of your services.
 Kimberly"

The emotion behind this letter is what we live for. Thank you Kimberly for letting us be part of your life. You are a blessing.

7 Reason To Get A Reveal Your True Beauty Session

Contrary to the popular belief, a Reveal Your True Beauty session is not aimed only at women with low self esteem. It does have indeed a higher impact for them but you'll be surprise to see that you might fit the criteria to have your own session too.

I love how Katie, one of my clients, wrote it on her review:

"... As people we often spend all our time putting our energy into our families or spend too much time working -that we don't get the opportunity to spend a selfless hour on ourselves to create a beautiful product. 

The photos of myself are a reminder of how beautiful I think I am but forget quickly. 

They are a reminder of what other people see everyday, but I don't.

I hope everyone can take the time to invest in an experience of such as this. Because then you too will be reminded of how truly amazing you always where. "

The Reveal Your True Beauty experience is not a makeover but rather the much needed spark to love and embrace who you are.

To know more in detail what is about, click here.

So if you had skipped through it because "it's not for me" or had doubts about doing it or not, check the list below. If 3 or more apply to you, then yes, the Reveal Your True Beauty Session is for you:

1. You are a woman of any age. From teenagers to seniors we go through different stages of self criticism. From not "pretty enough" to not "young enough". We all do it!

2. "I'm a busy mom". How many times you find yourself thinking "I need to wash off the mommy look for a couple of hours to feel Me or feel sexy?" I have found myself overdressing when I go out with my friends because I need a break from the mommy look to remind myself that above being a mom, I'm still Me. Moms will relate ;)

3. "I'm a workaholic". You love working, we get it. I love what I do too (you can confirm this every time I jump up and down with excitement during a photo shoot), but as workaholics we need "boundaries" (read from Harvard Business Review blog: "Happy Workaholics Need Boundaries") is very important and healthy! We need time to spend with family and friends but also to rediscover ourselves which is the first thing we put aside when duty calls. 

4. Have found comparing yourself to models on magazines or criticizing your body because it doesn't look certain way (and that includes wishing your hair was curly... or straight... or wavy... or just not how you wish it were). We should make the outside beauty match the inside beauty; not the other way around.

5. "I'm not photogenic". Apart from this belief feeling true to must of us, I believe it is also a defense mechanism against the feeling of intimidation or awkwardness we get from being in front of a camera. As a photographer I find highly important to put these feelings at ease for the simple reason that I cannot photograph your true beauty if you won't show it to me and that will happen only if you trust me; I'll guide you safely through it all, no need to fear. 

6. "I don't know what to do in front of the camera". You don't need to know. None of the ladies I have photographed knew how to pose. And in case you're doubting, it's not as hard as you think. It's not your job to know this but mine, the photographer. I've heard so many times from so many people having experiences with photographers who take the "pose and look pretty" approach to photographing people. I cannot understand how a photographer thinks they'll take good photos of this kind without engaging and guiding the subject with patience and gentleness. 

7. "It's a waste of time". Now, if you believe this, you HAVE to do it. Seriously. Believing it's a waste of time on YOU is believing you are not worth anybody's time, not even your own and this is serious talk here. If you don't think you're pretty enough or skillful enough to be photographed or you feel embarrassed by the way you look, if you think you're not  sexy or feminine enough, you NEED this session. These are lies that you have to stop believing because they're not making you grow as a person but rather killing your potential. And in case you doubt you have potential, YES, YOU DO. We all do. God made each one of us wonderful and filled with different gifts that make us unique. I experienced ALL these feelings long ago so I understand where you're coming from (read "The Ugly Betty Story And Why I Want To Show Your True Beauty To The World"). Believe me, you can change that; just take the first step. 

Meditate on this:

"She didn't have to be perfect because she was perfectly loved"

                         - Excerpt from "Perfectly Loved" by Holly Gerth

Now come and give yourself the chance to see it.

Beginnings

Just moved to a new city I have to discover. I always wanted to do it, curiosity wouldn’t leave me alone. I like discovering, learning new things about me and my surroundings. Still, everything in this city seems so strange and detached though. Am I suppose to start calling it home? Such a strong word for an unknown place like this one. I’ll wait and see if this city grows on me.

The air is good here. After living in a polluted city for so long, fresh air seems unreal and light weighted; filling but barely there. Ah! Plenty of sunlight. There’s no better gift you could give a photographer; generous amounts of sunlight to play with. Us, the sunlight masters; sounds more magical than it is but I like to think of it that way.

“Alef Seladi, Permanent Resident”. I had to go all the way didn’t I? Why not just a visitor’s visa to see if I like it here first?  I thought it tedious to go through all the bureaucratic paper work again, might just do it all once. I hope I didn’t make a bad decision but I can’t afford to go anywhere else anymore so I must make the best out of this. No turning back now for nothing or no one (no one? Who am I kidding?).

My best friend is here with me, safe in his cozy bag; my gorgeous 5D camera which I bought many years ago with saved money. I worked so hard to get it! And is now here next to me, my only companion, the extension of my eye, immortalizer of my views. This city is screaming to be discovered by me and my friend; to be photographed, to be called home. I think I’ll like it here.