Being Different: You Are Not Alone

Despite that we are being told constantly that we shouldn't care about what people say, the truth is that it DOES affect in one way or the other. It affects because it is human nature to feel approved. Approval make us feel included and feeling included make us belong. We aren't made to be isolated individuals but individuals inside a community.

Now, you might be thinking about those who go against it all and think my words are incorrect. Even though these people seem to go on their own, the truth is they are not alone in the journey the chose; they just haven't found their way to their community.

When I was in school, I felt like I didn't belong. I was a "law abiding teenager" (which is uncommon); I wouldn't do things I believed were stupid choices, always measuring the consequences of those choices. I was called dumb for not joining. Passionate about learning, with a huge imagination, always dreaming high, full of ideas, but they were called silly by others. I studied hard because I wanted scholarships so my mom wouldn't worry about not being able to pay my school- a hunting worry. I was hated quite a lot because of that; my peers simply didn't understand the reasons behind my "nerdiness".  I wouldn't help my classmates cheat during an exam and I knew it would be uncomfortable to deal with them after class being called names, getting shoes thrown my way and even not letting me out of the classroom. Many of my ideas were thrown to the curb as one makes a paper ball and throws it to the trash. It was frustrating and confusing. I thought maybe I was doing something wrong because everything seemed to be against me but it was in my nature; I couldn't rub it off or perhaps I was very strong willed without meaning it. I know of people who are amazing, talented and choose to lower all of their selves just to belong. People who choose to dumb themselves before being rejected.

When I started University everything changed. My classmates were like me. I was still the more nerdy of the class but I was not made fun. Instead, I was being seek for advice, for help, people wanted to hear my ideas and be part of them and I grew more in that time than I did in so many years with my school peers. The difference? I found my community. I wasn't flying solo anymore.

After many years and circumstances that shaped my life into a muddy situation in which I was stuck, I knew I needed to leave my birth country. Who I was just didn't fit well anymore so I end up in Canada. After a week of living here I knew this was my place. That was 8 years ago. During these 8 years I have still feel strongly about that thought and this week I finally became a canadian citizen. It hasn't been easy but it has been gratifying and I have been blessed in many many ways, big and small. I'm flourishing as a person and as an artist. My skills have found their way to help others through Reveal Your True Beauty. I'm blessed but I know I'm still growing and the path is long with bumps on the way. I'm not scared about that. Sometimes overwhelmed, sometimes stressed, sometimes completely ecstatic but not afraid.

Take a deep breath, close your eyes and listen to your soul. But really listen to it, in humility and honest truth with yourself. What does it say? Ask questions: What do I truly believe in and why?

It's easy to feel like you don't belong in your own little world, city or even country. Your views of life clash against those of your peers and you feel rejection. You might feel that perhaps you are wrong because everything and everyone around you tells you that. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and listen to your soul. But really listen to it, in humility and honest truth with yourself. What does it say? Ask questions: What do I truly believe in and why?

Now here's the thing: if it's something you truly believe, educate yourself. Learn about what you believe and learn about the opposite too, because being blinded to other points of view make you a foolish person; but learning other perspectives brings wisdom and understanding.

Being blinded to other points of view make you a foolish person; but learning other perspectives brings wisdom and understanding.

Now seek. Seek like-minded people. Find your community. The beauty of living with internet is that you can do it from your own home but don't forget to take the trip and talk too. Living it is another thing and you learn more from the experience. 

You are not alone; just in the wrong place. If everything and everyone around you works against you, break free, find your solace- Find your happiness. Find your True Beauty.

Finding Strength To Carry On, Even When You Don't Feel Like It

2015 Started with the wrong foot for me at a personal level. Even though I've been trying to keep my smiley face on and positive attitude, it's hasn't been easy. Especially when I got punched by a fist of bad news on the same week my son was having his second surgery. There was a new announcement every day that week.

Health problems with three family members, my mom going back to Colombia to help after being with me through all of my motherhood career ("I don't know how to be a mom on my own!") and wait for it: a call from the Women's Clinic telling me I had High Grade Dysplasia and needed a L.E.E.P procedure asap. Fun. 

Let's be clear on something: I'm not writing this to rant or to make you feel pity for me. I already had my dose of self pity, because I believe it is healthy to let negative feelings have temporary permission to burst out (I give them a couple of hours or a day, depending on how bad it is). Letting my negative feelings have free range for a limited amount of time  allows my strength and courage to have a rest, breathe, and come back with more power to face what I have to face because you can't simply run away from your problems. 

It's okay to take one step back if it's the one that will give you the impulse to stampede forward.

The reason why I'm sharing all these things with you is because we tend to believe that people with a positive attitude through life and those who always have encouraging words on their lips for everyone are on a pedestal and nothing hurt them or make them doubt about themselves. I'm constantly trying to remind everyone that nobody is perfect and therefore we shouldn't compare ourselves to anyone. 

This is me showing you my vulnerability, so that you know that we are the same. It is okay to feel defeated every now and then; to feel like you can't keep on going, to feel lost, to feel that you are not good enough, to feel angry, sad or cry for hours. But here's the game changer: 

How much freedom and power are you going to allow all these negative feelings?

And here is the reason why I give them temporary reign: To let them know I'M in control; not them. I let them burst because I want to; NOT because THEY want to. Keeping control gives me POWER over them. The next day, I write down a game plan:

- Which problems can I fix? I list them and each one gets it's own list of things I have to do to solve them and I get started right away. If I need help, I ask for it whether I feel embarrassed to ask or not.

- Which problems I cannot fix? Well, here's where my spirituality comes in play and this is personal to everyone. I don't care what religion or ideology you practice, but as long as you have one to hold on to, these problems will be easier than you could believe. I'll share with you how it helps me but YOU have to tailor it to what works for you:

Since I opened my heart to God, it has been quite the journey of learning to forgive myself (because God had already forgiven all my sins) and to learn to trust Him. I've always been the kind of person to try to plan and control absolutely everything, and most of it came to frustration because there are things you just can't control. So learning to trust Him was very hard. Many times I pass him the steering wheel hesitantly and most of those times I would rip it off His hands and try to do it alone, just to fail again. But I gotten better at it because I have found peace in doing that; all my fears are washed away, literally. For example, when I got the news of the High Grade Dysplasia, I couldn't think anything positive out of it. All I could think of was the probability of losing my uterus after talks with my husband of wanting to have another baby this year, or the probability of the L.E.E.P. not working and my Dysplasia developing onto cervical cancer. These fears try to hunt me constantly. But I can't control what's going to happen. I can only do my best which is to allow the doctors do what they do best and place it all on God's hands because He knows better than me what's in store for me. Because He won't put anything on my plate that I can't handle. Because if something bad Does happen, it'll make me stronger. These thoughts bring me peace. I was at peace the day before the procedure and the day of the procedure. The only time I felt nervous was thinking about how painful the procedure was going to be. To my relief, apart from a little spot where the freezing anesthesia didn't work, it was completely painless. 

How do you find the strength to carry on, even when you don't feel like it? Would love to hear about your experience and learn from you too. I'm always on listening and learning mode!

7 Tips For Choosing The Right Photographer

We all love looking at photos and/or taking photos. There's a reason why all photography related apps and devices are among the favourites at all ages. Some can take amazing photos and some others think they do. Being creative is an amazing and fun activity to exercise the mind, and photography is the first choice because the result is immediate without much time consumption; though a professional fine art photographer can take hours up to days creating amazing images that surpass your imagination.

But what happens when you want state of the art images of yourself and/or family? That's when you hire a professional. The Photographer.

As you may have noticed, if you google photographers in your area, a very extensive list will appear and believe it or not, the best ones are not always the ones on top of that list; the ones with good SEO knowledge are. So how do you find the right photographer for you?

1. Browse: Yes, browsing can be exhausting but it does work better the more precise you are; you still need to invest time on this. Also consider, most photographer don't place their pricing online so you'll have to call them or email them. Most of the time, the photographer will take less than 24hrs to answer back and email or even less than 2 hours! (the beauty of small business mix with technology).

Instead of searching for "Calgary Photographer", search instead for example "beauty photographer in Calgary" or "Children photographer in Calgary". Be precise about the type of photography you're looking for and the location for it.

2. Referral: Nothing works like a charm than asking friends and family for photographers they know, or the one who took their photos. It works wonderfully if you DO like their style. This is very important. You will be investing money on this so you want to be sure you get what you want. What would the point be then if the photographer is the nicest person you've ever met but you are not keen of their style? Choose wisely and be sure you'll be completely satisfied by service and final product.

3. Style: What kind of style are you looking for? Each photographer has it's own perspective of beauty and composition and this affects the final result. If you found a portrait photographer with an amazing style but with no family gallery photos, chances are he/she will still deliver your family photos with the plus of the style you liked. All you have to do is ask. Also consider consistency and chronology in their style. Galleries are usually organized from newest to oldest; do you see improvement in their style from their first to their newest? or does it look more like some of the photos came out good by chance? 

4. Price: We all like good deals on photographers, and websites like Kijiji or Deals websites like Living Social can provide you with such things. I've seen photographers on Kijiji looking to work for free or pennies to build their portfolio and I've had many people approaching me with complains about them. The problem ladies and gentleman, is not the photographer. You can be surprised to see that one of these can actually be a good photographer that honestly wants to build their portfolio and needs subjects, but these are like a needle in the hay stack or like winning the lottery--mere chance. The problem resides in lack of research. Don't jump right on it because it's free or cheap. Always consider their style (as mentioned above). Something else to consider is that if you pay good money for your photos, you will be able to hold the photographer accountable for what they deliver and you can avoid hiccups on the way because it's a PAID service, specially if your photographer is the famous "Uncle Bob" were you also put at risk your relationship with him/her if all goes wrong. ALWAYS RESEARCH. If they are building their portfolio chances are they must have at least 3-5 images that will give you an idea of what they can deliver.

5. Time: Time is of essence for everybody. Consider when do you want your photos done. Is there a special occasion you need them for? Even if the date is still far, don't hesitate on booking asap the photographer. Spring/Summer get filled fast for family sessions and weddings and Fall/Winter get filled fast for Holiday themed sessions and weddings as well. So keep this into account depending on what the photographer specializes in so that you can have your session done close to the date you want. 

Also consider what is the delivery time frame. Photographers can take from 1 week up to months to deliver the final product after your session. This can be caused by many reasons: the amount of postproduction work for your session (usually weddings take a long time vs. family sessions), high/low season for your photographer or plain disorganization (always hoping is not the latter). When contacting a photographer, ask if they can do your session at a specific date and how long will it take him/her to deliver the final product. This is planning ahead. 

6. Safety: Going back to number 4 above (See Price) for the case of the randomly picked/unknown and inexperienced photographer looking to build their portfolio, if they insist they have nothing to show you of their previous work then ask yourself why. I prefer to err on the side of prevention and walk away from it, SPECIALLY if you're looking for Boudoir /risqué photos. If they haven't done at least a photo of a friend or family member to build their work or practice then is someone I wouldn't want to go with. Better safe than sorry but if you're still going for it, bring someone with you. 

7. Meet them first: If it's the first time you'll work with your chosen photographer, is best to meet with them first at a public place to get to know them. This also makes a big difference on the final result of your photos because you'll know them by the session date, they can suggest ideas or tips for best results and you'll feel more comfortable with her/him which reflects in the final image.

Feel free to share in the comments any other tips I might have missed or experiences good or bad that you have had and how any of these tips would have helped.

Bye for now!

FELA