I'm Not Ugly Betty, Now What? The Beginning of a Journey

"It's not easy to put our hearts out there. We worry about their vulnerability and we are afraid of what may cause them harm; we don't like feeling broken. The thing is, only when we learn to love our true selves, flawed and all, the same way God loves us, we'll be able to bring our hearts out of their hiding because only then, they'll be clothed in a powerful protective armour which is Love. Love feeds love and love cannot grow from where there's hate. Therefore, start with loving yourself so that you may love others as flawed as you are. "Flaw" doesn't have to be a negative word but an encouraging word to step on; to rise to our better selves". 

This are the words I posted yesterday on my social media. I have been thinking a lot about this topic for a while, mainly because of the Reveal Your True Beauty sessions we've been doing with the team lately and the blog post "The Ugly Betty Story and Why I Want To Show Your True Beauty To The World" that I wrote a while back.

As we put it on the website:

"Reveal Your True Beauty is the ignition, the much needed spark, the beginning of a journey to get you moving into embracing who you really are with what you already have. It's the opportunity to have the best of you, your inner beauty (your REAL beauty), portrayed in an image that you can go back to anytime you need; it's a reminder of how truly beautiful you are".

But what happens next? 
Embracing our true beauty is a process we have to go through. Everybody's process is different; faster for some, slower for others. Realistically, we cannot expect the "metamorphosis" to happen in a week and we can't expect it to happen on it's own. 
I believe example is the best way to explain it, so I'll share with you how it was for me:


This is me were I left you on the Ugly Betty post: Finding out I had beauty in me: This was the spark I needed.Working on portraying it out of my inner self: That was the hardest and longest part because I'm broken. Because I have daddy issues, because I was told I would end up living a lonely life, because I had to stop believing the lies I heard and believed about myself.


I found my true inner beauty but was still so insecure that at the beginning I took the wrong approach, just like when you take the wrong turn when you're driving and you have to do a huge loop to be able to get back to the same spot to take the other turn instead. Under poor advice (not ill intended though; they actually believed this to be true) I was taught that showing my true beauty was about looking sexy all the time; wearing cleavage and tight clothes, masking my face with a lot of makeup and keeping my hair straight because my curls were ugly. I was so obsessed with leaving the ugly Betty behind that I fell for the beauty standards trap. It's impossible for someone who begins this type of journey to know the real truth when everything around you points the opposite direction with false "truth" signs.

What was the consequence of my detour? I started attracting guys (finally, woohoo!) but, for the wrong reasons. The ones that actually liked me for me wouldn't approach me (this still puzzles me. I know from mutual friends of a couple of guys who had a crush on me and I had no idea! I still wonder how would my life had been if they would have stepped forward? How would that have changed me or my life? But that's another topic). And my insecurities and daddy issues made me automatically try to fit in what was expected of me by them; basically grabbing crumbs of love because it would prove that I was beautiful and I wouldn't end up alone. I felt like I was cool and belonged many times, but just at the beginning. Afterwards I noticed a pattern of lack of respect that was diminishing me instead of helping me grow and flourish. Lack of respect from them and from me. Which made me fall in the thought of "I'm not pretty enough", which made me come back to more cleavage, more tight clothes, more makeup and so forth... a cycle. And a destructive bad one. If you're not respecting yourself, that's what you'll saw. It was when an ex-boyfriend made me promise him when we broke up that I was going to start respecting myself and find someone that would respect me as well what hit me.
I started to analyze my processing. Was it aligned with God? was it aligned with myself? With what I believed to be the right thing? I'm a smart person, how could I fall for all this so easily? 

I believe everything happens for a reason; there's blessings in disguise everywhere, happening all the time. We don't see them as we are struggling but once we come out of our struggle, we can see the whole picture. 

My current and true no makeup self on a work break. Finally loving my curls!

These experiences were my blessings in disguise. Why? Because I learned to "beautify" myself because I WANT to, not because I HAVE to.
Because I learned from them what I want and don't want for my life. 
Because sometimes we have to hit the ground to stand up again with head held high and move forward. Because I was placed face to face with my insecurities so I could fight them and come out victorious. Because they were the tools through which I learned to love myself. Truly love myself.Because when you truly love yourself, your respect yourself, you are confident of who you are and what you want.Because when you truly love yourself it's easier to truly love others in their imperfection.Because these experiences helped shape me into the person I am now; the person with imperfections that my husband fell in love with 5 years ago and married 3 years ago. The person who couldn't be more in love and grateful for the little child that came out of that love. Because I'm here writing this for you in the hopes that what I went through might help you in your journey. Because when I say I'm here for you, I mean it.

"My "embracing my true beauty" process was slow. It's not easy to change the line of thought we have about who we think we are and replace it with who we really are and finding our true potential. It took me years to get to where I am now and I still have insecurities that want to take over; I just work on not letting them take control of my head. Just like driving a car, we are very conscious and thoughtful about our actions when we just learn how to drive but eventually they become second nature and you are able to focus better on the road ahead. The key is practice and the key to success is how often you practice".

With the Reveal Your True Beauty Team, we don't want to stop at giving you the push; we want to walk with you on your journey. We are working on some ideas and tools to help you so that you don't get lost on the way like I did. But even if you do, remember that everything happens for a reason. Life is full of blessings in disguise. Just get up and keep on walking. You are not alone.

What's Beauty Photography?

Hair and Makeup by Kada Issa (Bombay Beauty Loft)

"Beauty Photography can be best described as a hybrid cross between very good portraiture and fashion photography" 
- Paul Kerins, photographer

I couldn't have said it better myself. Beauty photography is known mostly as and advertising media for makeup; though it is indeed used mostly for this purpose, there's another use that hits way closer to home and oh how close it is!

So what's the "closer to home" version? The one that focuses in real beauty. YOUR beauty. Your REAL beauty. The one sometimes we hide inside, keeping it safe from danger and criticism. Ironically, that criticism comes mostly from ourselves. We live in it's denial because we were thought different. I'll prove you wrong.

"Beauty is not on the outside, it's something that shines out from inside you"

- Sue Bryce, Photographer

I've been in your shoes and I did for quite a long time; years actually. To better understand where I'm coming from check the post Ugly Betty And Why I Want To Show Your True Beauty,  where I share my personal experience and how it prepared me for helping you to discover and reveal your true inner beauty. After all, I believe everything happens for a reason.

How do these beauty sessions work?

It's actually more simpler than you might think. As an overall, you get hair and makeup done by a professional artist that knows her way through preparing you for photography. The photographer, being an artist, gets inspired by you, your personality and beauty. Then, the creativity and fun begin.

In order for the beauty session to be successful, you need to trust who you are to the photographer. This is, of course, not a one sided deal. A beauty photographer knows well his/her art and will treat you with respect, professionalism but mostly with kindness. This will help you feel comfortable and in a trusted environment. After all, we want to bring out that beauty you are hiding and what better way than to make you feel relaxed?

It is an intimate experience and it will be treated with all the respect it deserves. 

Here's something one the ladies wrote about her experience. Her words are what motivate me everyday to give my best and bring your best:

"Most people dislike getting photos of themselves and would find it hard to get excited about a photoshoot. 

But then came along Fela of Fela Photography. Working with Fela from start to finish was something of a different experience that every person should be lucky enough to partake in. There wasn't any pressure to look a certain way or need to be camera shy simply because Fela can put anyone at ease. 

As people we often spend all our time putting our energy into our families or spend too much time working -that we don't get the opportunity to spend a selfless hour on ourselves to create a beautiful product. 

The photos of myself are a reminder of how beautiful I think I am but forget quickly. 

They are a reminder of what other people see everyday, but I don't. 

I hope everyone can take the time to invest in an experience of such as this. Because then you too will be reminded of how truly amazing you always where". - Katie

After your session is done, I always recommend to treat yourself, either with your partner or on your own, to an amazing evening. After all, you have had your hair and makeup done. Why not take advantage of it? In fact, plan ahead of time what you want to treat yourself to: a romantic dinner? Theater? Ballet? Go out to dance? A girls' night? Be creative and make it special! You deserve a day of pampering, don't you? Of course you do. We all do!

The Ugly Betty Story And Why I Want To Show Your True Beauty To The World

Everything started with a real life Ugly Betty. I'm talking about myself.

I thought for many years that I was ugly. I could see my classmates turning into beautiful teenagers as I seemed to be frozen anatomically; I only kept growing taller. On top of it, my school uniforms were always 2 sizes bigger in case I kept on growing (we couldn't afford to keep buying uniforms). I had very long and abundant curly hair I kept in a horrid low ponytail, I admit I didn't shave my legs either, I had big eyeglasses and yes, I was a big nerd. I still believe I'm a nerd but I wear it proudly now.

Not only I felt ugly, I was reassured every day at school. I was called "Ugly Betty" (from the original colombian series "Yo soy Betty La Fea"), "skinny", "whip"... to name a few. I was made fun of because of my appearance, the typical "no dancing material" (I could definitely, most certainly dance, but I wasn't being asked to). I was the never been kissed case. My first kiss was when I was 19 and it was not romantic if you're wondering but that's a whole different story.

My youngest self or "before" photo. This was my "look" until the Yearbook adventure (for aprox. 8-9 years). Sorry for the lack of older versions of me on my "Ugly Betty" state, but I just don't have any.

It wasn't until the yearbook situation that everything changed. We all needed headshots for our graduate pages and of course I had to have mine too. What a nightmare! I felt it was just going to be another mocking tool that would spread my ugliness to the world; I was not going to be able to keep it contained in school, ugh!

One of my classmates had hers done earlier and they seemed very well done, so in a last attempt to restore my dignity my mom and I saved every possible penny to hire that photographer (we were definitely not wealthy at all). I had my hair straighten and they applied makeup on me. I never saw how I looked at all. I just wasn't able to bring myself to look in the mirror.

The photographer was very sweet to me and made me laugh a lot; she made me feel comfortable and I trusted her. It was a great experience. I didn't know if I looked good at all but her treatment made me feel special and a bit beautiful that day.

When the photos arrived and (after a deep breath) I saw them, I noticed they gave me someone else's! There, in front of me was a girl that seemed smart, definitely very pretty and had a smile that shined; definitely not me! I turned to my mom and showed her what happened. With watery eyes she brought me to the bathroom mirror, placed the photo in front of me and said: "that IS you sweetie. I've seen it all along but it was time you saw it and believed it yourself as well". I spent the rest of the weekend looking at those photos; my mind was being "reprogrammed". I think that's a better word to describe what was going on in my head.

My yearbook photo. The photo that changed it all.(2000). I still wear those earrings, ha!

That was a turning point for me. I had a haircut, started tiding up my hair and slowly embarked myself onto reflecting outside what was inside; making the outside "match" the inside.

I'm not saying I'm a front cover hot stuff or anything like that; neither am I saying that you should have perfect looking hair, makeup and clothing 24/7. Heck, there's lots of days when I still don't shave my legs (during winter I need my fur coat hahaha!), I place my hair in the quickest bun, don't wear makeup and grab the first thing I find in the closet (and believe me, hubby still thinks I'm a hottie, fur coat and all). The difference is that I have self worth now. I KNOW I'm beautiful and I FEEL beautiful; I just don't have to prove it to myself anymore.

And that is why I want to show the world but mostly YOU, how beautiful YOU really are. It doesn't matter age, weight or body shape. What matters is to be comfortable with one's self inside one's self. I want to help you discover and reveal your true beauty, one photo at a time.

If any of this sounds familiar to you, please share it with me. 

If you're interested in having your own True Beauty Revelation or know someone who needs it, please email me at feladales@felaphotography.com. 

If you doubt of yourself, or think I would have to work my "magic" or perform "miracles" (I have heard that said to me before), I insist, PLEASE contact me; you will NEVER regret it!

You can read the sequel to this story on the post "I'm not Ugly Betty, now what? The beginning of a journey"