My Temporary Life In The Shadows

If you are always in tune with my social media and have been following me for a while, you might have noticed I have been disappearing lately and show up a little bit here and then. You might have wondered where are all the photos you have grown accustomed to enjoy or all the blog posts about Reveal Your True Beauty and the experiences.

Well, sometimes life throws you punches. You can only get up and keep going. Sometimes life knocks you down and just when you are getting up again, it throws you another punch. Life can be a bully sometimes, just as it can easily be a dream. Life is bipolar.

Well, right now and for the last 3-4 months, I've been receiving punch after punch and I have to attend to those punches. They are my urgency right now so I have found myself with no time to attend to my social media, which from a small business owner point of view who relays on it as the sole marketing tool it, well, sucks.

To be honest and open about it, as is always my intent with everything I do, what's causing all this is that my son has been recently diagnosed with Autism and Severe Communication Delay. The punches, as you have imagined, are related to his diagnosis; parenting, my health (both physical and mental) and what this means on an every day basis, plus the normal day to day things that are part of being a parent, a wife, a professional and being me (you know, the things that won't stop and wait just because you are having a bad time). Decisions for the sake of my son had to be made that mean making sacrifices, for at least this school year. Right now for example, I'm writing to you from a Starbucks near his Preschool. It's a specialized school for special needs but it has integration with typically developed children as well (you'll hear more from me about this later). It's quite far from home and that means I have to stay around the area every day until he is transferred to the branch close to home for the next school year. In 3 months (to you it feels less because all the post you've been seeing had been scheduled), it has been the first time I've been able to sit and write. It's all happening from my iPad so it can be quite limiting for some things, hence the lack of my photography work lately (no, I don't own a laptop and honestly right now, If I had the money for it, I would spend it on private therapy sessions for my little L instead). I still have lots of material to show you including videos, photos, announcements, etc. that I have not released yet, but is a bit complicated to do right now. I'm still learning how to manage this juggling game.

What does it mean to Fela Photography and Reveal Your True Beauty? 

I'm still doing my business of course! Fela Photography and Reveal Your True Beauty is my happy place and for my sanity, I need that now more than ever. But it will continue at a slower pace than before. I can't overload myself.

What does this mean to you? 

Not much really. If you are a social media follower, It means that you won't see me around as often as I was showing up before. As a client it means my availability will be a bit more tight but it is still realistically doable (studio is closer to me now, actually!) otherwise (believe me) I wouldn't do it. I'm already holding too many things on my hands and I am being very conscious of not trying to hold more than I can. It also means that my delivery times will be longer than before because I won't be able to hold my record of 1-2 weeks delivery.

If you are reading this and you feel you don't want to bother me right now because you believe it's the best approach, because you feel bad for me and believe it wouldn't be fair to "bother" me with your needs, I'll tell you this: If you want to help me, give me photography projects to do. It'll make me feel useful and take my mind off my current everyday. Hiring me will be my therapy. Me being able to help you discover your amazing self will remind me of mine when I need it most. 

In the meantime, I'll work with the tools I have right now. I'll keep blogging as much as I can but it'll be a bit of everything. It'll do me good. Some thoughts I've had in my mind for a while have been screaming lately for me to let them out and things related to my journey as a mother of a special needs child that I hope others relate to and might be of help for someone out there. If you want to keep up with my blog in there's an option on the right side of your screen (if on a PC) or at the bottom (device) where you can sign up so Blogger lets you know of new posts.

Allow us both - you and me  - to punch life back on the face with a huge smile and sense of joy because we are strong, courageous and resilient. Allow us both to get back on our feet, look at life and say "keep it coming". 

My biggest joy will be able to help you in the way I know how and believe me, your biggest joy will be taking that step.

The Beauty Of Trying New Things And How Liberating It Can Be

I have a confession: I'm a scaredy cat when it comes to trying new things or on a more positive light, I'm too cautious. I can try new food (if it's not spicy) and activities in which the risk might be getting highly bored or disappointed, but trying activities that involve some risk, or athletics of some sort? Not cut for that.

Why? Well, I guess that being a person that can learn from other people's mistakes can be a blessing but it does kick you in the butt from time to time. When it comes to these experiences, I automatically imagine all the gone-wrong scenarios from deadly situations to how embarrassed I can come out of it. I'm the kind of person that feels uneasy on the deep end of the pool. Not because I can't swim but because I have that eerie feeling that something is going to come out from the depths of the water and suck me in, like a Jaws movie (I watched that movie when I was too little. It's clear it left a mental wound. Also the Thriller music video. I still get the chills even though I know it's poor makeup compared to today's standards). 

So how is it to live this way? Well, quite horrible I have to admit! I know I'm missing out a lot of things even as I have found myself watching friends enjoy it but the fear has always taken the best of me and I hate it. Did not appreciate that my comfort zone was so little it was imprisoning me.

Just as the late Jim Rohn used to say: 

"If you want things to change, you have to change"

I knew I had to do something about it and so I finally did. And it was a week of firsts.

My husband and I went to Puerto Vallarta for a friend's wedding and we stayed for a week. I have to admit that having my trusty non judgemental hubby by my side was a big aid because I never felt pressured, forced or to the opposite, overly cared for. 

So here's my list of firsts:

Going on a week trip without my son. This was a huge thing for me. Imagine all the worse scenarios that can come out of this! But boy! We needed that time for ourselves.

- Boogie Boarding. I had so much fun with it that I went for hours on at the beach until everything hurt. Yes, my swim bottoms left me looking like the Coopertone girl a bunch of times but I did not care; just laughed it off and pulled them back up.

- Zip Line. I did it! I second, third, fourth, fifth guessed so much before lifting my legs that the instructor started encouraging me to quit instead. I took so long that my husband had already reached the last lap. But I kept telling myself "I have to do this, for me". It was so worth it! I looked at fear in the face and I won, ha!

Dolphin encounter. It was a 

childhood dream come true. Always dreamed of it but was a little afraid I would freak out once I got in front of the dolphins. Did not happen. I was so ecstatic about it that I enjoyed every ounce of it and even let a sea lion kiss me as well. How cool is that!

Underground beach (aka Marieta Islands). Those 2 words would have scared me away at first. They did. But I really wanted to see it (it's on the list of places to visit before you die). So I blindly paid for it and went. What did I face on this adventure? Swimming 200m in a jelly fish infested water in open sea to reach the underground beach and doing it twice (yes, I got stung in multiple parts of my arms; luckily I was wearing a wet suit which protected the rest).

Snorkeling. We did it at the Marieta Islands. I've never snorkelled for fear of seeing something I did not want to be close to (like a shark!) but it was very enjoyable. I still hesitated multiple time to look in the water but hubby made it into an "I spy" game.

Kayak. Still in the open sea on the area of Marieta Islands. I've always wanted to try it but I don't know why I hesitated so much about it. It was as wonderful as I pictured it!

I concluded three things:

1. I did not die, hooray!

2. If I embarrassed myself or a hiccup showed on the way, laughed at myself and I counted it as a blessing because I have now a story to tell. it created an anecdote I will go back to for the rest of my life and it will sure bring me joy to remember it.

3. When I did embarrassed myself, I was the first one laughing. Laughing at my own misadventures actually made me love myself more and appreciate all the wonderful opportunities God pours over me to enjoy His creation. 

Once I started, I couldn't stop. Every time I left my comfort zone it was as if I was having another step towards freedom. It was very liberating! Not only did I enjoy myself, I learned more about me and all the things I'm capable of that didn't believe I was built to do. I felt accomplished; when you feel this way it's satisfying and empowering. Giving myself the chance of trying new things showed me higher levels of courage and strength I didn't think I had; it fed my curiosity of "what else am I capable of"? 

Just as the hardest part of getting in the water is jumping in it (that first dip is always so cold!), the most difficult part of giving myself the opportunity of freeing myself from fear was taking the first step. It truly was. 

What made me do it after so many years? Finally believing in full understanding and consciousness that there was more to life and I was missing out big time. I had to be convinced that I had to make a change in my life and it would only start if I started it. Living your life at its fullest doesn't start on it's own. It need your nudge and only you can do it.

Words that kept me encouraged:

YOU ARE DOING IT FOR OWN GOOD

YOU DESERVE TO ENJOY LIFE AT ITS FULLEST

NOBODY CAN STILL FROM YOU WHAT YOU'VE DANCED, TRAVELLED AND EATEN (a colombian phrase)

THE FIRST STEP IS THE WORST ONE, DON'T WORRY

DON'T THINK IT TOO MUCH, JUMP!

YOU WILL BE HAPPY YOU DID IT 

IT'S BETTER TO DO SOMETHING AND REGRET IT, THAN TO REGRET NEVER DOING IT

Are you ready to try a new first?

What is your most recent "first'? 

How did it make you feel? 

Why did you do it? 

Would love to hear all about it!

Revealing Lana: Passion For Other People

Hair and Makeup by Kada from Bombay Beauty Loft. Clothes from Studio Intent

Lana is a fun enthusiastic lady who fell in love with the concept behind Reveal Your True Beauty from the moment we talked. She is passionate about entrepreneurship but specially keen of entrepreneurship with a social mission. So is no surprise that she works behind the scenes of REAP Calgary and Kensington Village supporting everything local and/or sustainable.

I have to admit I enjoyed how awkward she felt at the beginning of her session because she made it fun. She would laugh about herself and joked about it and tried hard to focus to no avail but then the awkwardness disappeared and I was able to capture all of her awesome personality, specially her "daydreaming" (as seen above). I personally love it because you know she's processing, thinking, solving and creating ideas on those moments. Moments in which her eyes start drifting into oblivion as you are talking to her, and then all of a sudden she wakes up and tells you all about it with excitement. It's always fun and great doing creative pow wows with her.

As better described by one of her friends:

"Lana is a compassionate, enthusiastic person with great passion for other people".

In her own words:

"I would recommend this experience to other people because I think it's something we don't consider to do for ourselves... You get to keep these beautiful photos for many years... It reminds yourself how beautiful you are".

Want to know more about Lana's story? Check her video interview HERE

Revealing Terezia: The Power Of Overcoming Depression

Hair and Makeup by Kada Issa from Bombay Beauty Loft. Styling by Studio Intent Boutique

I first photographed Terezia almost 3 years ago. She needed author photos for her then upcoming book "Heart Of Love Evolution" (which is now a Bestseller). She knew exactly what she wanted but allowed me to play with that a little, which turned out into my images being front and cover of her book, so neat!

She has since become a sweet friend. Despite her struggle with depression, which she speaks openly about through her book, she is a wonderful joyful person who is not afraid to let her emotions be known. You know she IS happy to see you, not only because she says it but because all of her being smiles. She has a gorgeous big and sincere smile with a great sense of humour and a talent for chatting. Every time we see each other (which is not often considering she lives in Edmonton) we have a time constriction, but we always end up arriving late at our next commitment, because she is so fun to be around with, that you won't notice time flying by. 

A big warm hugger, Terezia came once more to me, this time for a Reveal Your True Beauty session and as always a blast and lots of belly ache laughter. She calls me her "personal photographer" and I must admit, I really like the title.

Her brother (an amazing loyal and caring brother by the way), always her close companion, best friend and confident, has been present at both her sessions. Here's what he has to say about Terezia:

"She's gregarious, outgoing. Caring and sensitive.

Intelligent. Likes intellectual games, conversation.

Enjoys gourmet food. Shy. Likes gardening and Scifi."

Terezia has come a long way. Since publishing her book she has become an Award winning author and a writer for Huffington Post, CNN and Beliefnet. If you're interested in following what she's up to, you can do so at www.tereziafarkas.com

Here is what Terezia has to say about her Reveal Your True Beauty experience:

"Second time Fela Dales had done my author photos. Drove in from out of town just so Fela would be my photographer. Her focus on revealing the inner beauty of women and young girls is inspirational. We definitely need more Fela's in our world! Thanks for an awesome time, the laughs and beautiful photos. See you a third time next year!"

What I've Learned From You So Far

I little context to today's post:

Though you might not believe it, I'm actually quite the introvert and sometimes even shy (specially in group setting where I barely know people or don't know anybody at all). For an introvert, investing our energy in others is a hard and exhausting task, that's why we have to learn to pick wisely; if you have our attention is because we believe every second of it is absolutely worth it. I love this comic explanation of what's an introvert; totally nailed it.

Now, on with the tale...!

It feels weird for me to call "client" the people I photograph. Yes, there's a financial transaction between us because that's what I do for a living, but each person also brings invaluable things to my life.

As I have mentioned many times before not only through my blog but through my social media and interviews, every session builds a connexion; I learned to know each one because there's a level of trust that we built before, during and after your session. It's my natural way to find and see the beauty that lies within you. Though I won't know absolutely everything about how your life is, I know who you are as a person. Every time I get a chance to see you again or talk or write fills me with joy, because I value your company and your presence even when is only your name popping up on my inbox. So in short, the people I photograph fill my life with positivism, light and motivation to keep doing what I do because meeting you has been an amazing journey in itself.

Though I strive to be able to show you how amazing you truly are I also have learned from you. Each interaction I've had with the people I photograph makes me feel a little more comfortable to put myself out there and interact with others; kind of a silly reassurance that people "don't bite" hahaha! 

I'm getting more comfortable at initiating a conversation with strangers. Even on my way to the park with my son, I have found myself short-talking to random people on the street! Believe me, I always thought that would never happen ("beautiful dog, is my favourite breed!""What a beautiful apple tree you have; love all the fruit hanging from it!"). There's still a lot of work to be done, but I wanted to let you know that your presence in my life, even if it was for 2 hours that day I photographed you, is teaching me a lot. I'm learning to breakout from those "social fears" that were stopping me from being more me and I'm grateful.

I'm grateful because the simple exercise of seeing beauty in you, is helping me to see it everywhere too. It's going on autopilot now and I'm embracing it all because is making my life brighter and better. And by making my life brighter and better, I'll be able to bring a bit of sunshine to others as well. A cyclic motion I guess.

I once heard that in order to love someone, you have to understand them first. Practicing this philosophy with your help has proven it right. Thank you!

I want to leave you with this:

Real beauty is found in the heart and the mind of a person, giving fruit to goodness that impacts the world and the people around them. Is that which leaves a positive mark, an impression on everything it touches therefore, making everything it touches beautiful as well. So in other words, thank you for making me beautiful too. 

Big hugs!

Being Grateful: An Open Letter To A Group Of Amazing Women

So far, this has been a year of changes. As I announced at the beginning of the year through my mailing list and my social media networks, I made the decision of revamping my business to focus on something I'm passionate about, to make my photography, my skills, more than just taking photos but leaving a mark, being able to influence my subjects by helping them see the beauty within each one of them. Everything has been about using my talent to do good, one person at a time.

Well, I have been blessed with an amazing, beautiful group of women who understand my vision and dream, who see the potential and who decided to help pull the cart too. I'm overwhelmed with affection for you. I'm not good at expressing my feelings in front of people (I'm actually quite shy when it comes to that), so I'm writing this for each one of you today. It comes from the bottom of my heart.

Kada: You were the first person I called to talk about the Reveal Your True Beauty Concept. I wanted one of the best on board to do hair and makeup. Not only because of your skills but because of your character. You are a very sweet soul Kada; I love how diplomatic you can be but always with gentleness. I love that we can talk about anything and everything at the same time and be bubbly together. 

I came to you humbled and with honesty and I confess, I was nervous. I was nervous because I was afraid you would say no, because I was talking to you about something very close to my heart and that made me feel vulnerable. But you embraced the idea with excitement and a vision too. You helped me when I had nothing to show you or give you in return for your support but just an idea in my head. Thank you so much for placing your trust in me.

Chantal: You know this already; You were the first (and so far only) boutique owner in the city who saw the value of the Reveal Your True Beauty concept. When so many said no, you said YES! But what I value the most is that it gave me the opportunity to know you and our relationship extended further than just the project for your boutique. Chantal, you are a very gentle and generous lady, someone on whom I see wisdom and who understands the value of words. I trust you fully. I'm grateful for your thoughtfulness in providing me with ideas and tools to grow my business constantly. I hope you know that I'm here for you in anything you need. You just have to say it. 

Lana: I'm so grateful for your generosity and positive attitude! I love how excited you are about the RYTB concept, specially that you like to dream big, like me. You saw the potential and jumped in without hesitation. I love it when we throw ideas and your eyes start sparkling with excitement (yes they do!), it's so awesome to see you enjoy what you do so much. Even though what you do is mostly behind the curtains, it means a lot to the team, and it means a lot to me. I'm so happy to be able to come to you with an idea I have and you are honest about it and help me tweak it if necessary. I value a lot what you have to say and how approachable and awesome you are.

Pritma: Even though you got officially involved very recently with the RYTB concept, I am grateful for you. I'm grateful because you have been there from the beginning, behind Kada, kind of in the shadows, allowing me to setup my mini studio at Bombay Beauty Loft and supporting the concept. It made me happy to see you step out of the shadows and get involved. You are a very business oriented person with a lot of experience and I appreciate everything you bring to the table. I'm not as experienced in the business world as you are; in fact, I'm the youngest of the whole team when it comes to business experience, but I'm grateful that I get the opportunity to learn from you. You are a very structured and focused lady which pushes me to step up and deliver the same to keep up with the game; it keeps my focus sharp which is highly needed to achieve the success we want and I'm confident that with you involved to "tight the screws" when we need it, we'll get there soon.

It is with excitement that I welcome every opportunity I get to see each one of you, because being around you motivates me to keep going and keep growing as a person and in my business. It's an amazing thing to be around like-minded, inspiring people who bring their best to everything they do. I know each person that discovers their true beauty through my photos is a collective achievement because each one of you have started paving the road with love and encouragement in them; when they are finally in front of me, I see the path you guys have built almost done and I'm just putting the final touches, the flashing sign that says "This Way". 

With all my heart, THANK YOU. Can't wait to see what the future hold with all of you in it!

FELA

Mr. & Mrs. Smith: A Wedding Reception Adventure

I received the news about my friend Matt's engagement through a text message from my husband during the intermission of The Nutcracker. My mom and I were getting back to our chairs when the phone vibrated. When I read the message I let out a big scream with a jump off my seat, forgetting for  less than a second where I was but it was too late to stop; I was in the middle of a 2 seconds celebration (and carefully with grace sitting back down as if everything was calculated; yes, it was a bit embarrassing hahaha!).

You see, Matt is my "brotha from anotha motha"; like my young sibling, the one you would think this day would never come to, despite how awesome he is. But the day had come and I HAD to be part of it.

I liked Sandra from the first time I met her. She is so sweet and kind. One of those people that you feel immediately at ease with, the ones you feel safe around because you know she has your back, even if you just met. That is the bright sweet energy that emanates from her. 

Matt and Sandra being their awesome selves, didn't want any of their photographer friends to work during their wedding; they wanted us to enjoy ourselves (though for me photography IS my joy, but I understood where they came from) so we split it between Stephanie Jager (ceremony) and myself (reception). I was very happy with this arrangement because it meant to me the opportunity to make something special for them while doing something useful instead of just sitting and listening through the reception; this made a huge difference to me. I had a blast!

I used a Canon EF70-200/2.8 II so I could capture a lot of candid moments from very far without people noticing I was doing that (Sneaky, eh?). From "paparazzi" portraits to groups and panoramic, I enjoyed playing during the wedding and I was able to make something special for my friends that will last a lifetime.

"All blessings be poured over the amazing newlyweds. May God be the head of your journey together, now and always. Love you!"

What's Beauty Photography?

Hair and Makeup by Kada Issa (Bombay Beauty Loft)

"Beauty Photography can be best described as a hybrid cross between very good portraiture and fashion photography" 
- Paul Kerins, photographer

I couldn't have said it better myself. Beauty photography is known mostly as and advertising media for makeup; though it is indeed used mostly for this purpose, there's another use that hits way closer to home and oh how close it is!

So what's the "closer to home" version? The one that focuses in real beauty. YOUR beauty. Your REAL beauty. The one sometimes we hide inside, keeping it safe from danger and criticism. Ironically, that criticism comes mostly from ourselves. We live in it's denial because we were thought different. I'll prove you wrong.

"Beauty is not on the outside, it's something that shines out from inside you"

- Sue Bryce, Photographer

I've been in your shoes and I did for quite a long time; years actually. To better understand where I'm coming from check the post Ugly Betty And Why I Want To Show Your True Beauty,  where I share my personal experience and how it prepared me for helping you to discover and reveal your true inner beauty. After all, I believe everything happens for a reason.

How do these beauty sessions work?

It's actually more simpler than you might think. As an overall, you get hair and makeup done by a professional artist that knows her way through preparing you for photography. The photographer, being an artist, gets inspired by you, your personality and beauty. Then, the creativity and fun begin.

In order for the beauty session to be successful, you need to trust who you are to the photographer. This is, of course, not a one sided deal. A beauty photographer knows well his/her art and will treat you with respect, professionalism but mostly with kindness. This will help you feel comfortable and in a trusted environment. After all, we want to bring out that beauty you are hiding and what better way than to make you feel relaxed?

It is an intimate experience and it will be treated with all the respect it deserves. 

Here's something one the ladies wrote about her experience. Her words are what motivate me everyday to give my best and bring your best:

"Most people dislike getting photos of themselves and would find it hard to get excited about a photoshoot. 

But then came along Fela of Fela Photography. Working with Fela from start to finish was something of a different experience that every person should be lucky enough to partake in. There wasn't any pressure to look a certain way or need to be camera shy simply because Fela can put anyone at ease. 

As people we often spend all our time putting our energy into our families or spend too much time working -that we don't get the opportunity to spend a selfless hour on ourselves to create a beautiful product. 

The photos of myself are a reminder of how beautiful I think I am but forget quickly. 

They are a reminder of what other people see everyday, but I don't. 

I hope everyone can take the time to invest in an experience of such as this. Because then you too will be reminded of how truly amazing you always where". - Katie

After your session is done, I always recommend to treat yourself, either with your partner or on your own, to an amazing evening. After all, you have had your hair and makeup done. Why not take advantage of it? In fact, plan ahead of time what you want to treat yourself to: a romantic dinner? Theater? Ballet? Go out to dance? A girls' night? Be creative and make it special! You deserve a day of pampering, don't you? Of course you do. We all do!