Reveal Your True Beauty: It Starts With Forgiveness

This were words I lived by on my early twenties and time and experience have taught me not to take them literally. Though this words allowed me to have many stories, experiences and opportunities to learn and grow from, there are also things I wish I could go back and change. Many choices that were poor in judgement and from which I didn't learn but grew in pain. 

I'm sure you have them too. Well, we're going to get a ride on the not-so-pleasant memory lane today because we'll use them to grow from them. Finally some good use to those bad memories!

**NOTE: As you may have noticed before in various posts here, there's a lot of spirituality in understanding one's self. I personally am Christian and so my examples come from my spiritual practices but I invite you to adjust it to YOUR spiritual practices.

We often hear about forgiveness as the start of a spiritual path. The first thing that comes to mind is forgiving those who hurt us; that's actually easier than you think: when you forgive yourself FIRST. But forgiving oneself is easier said than done because when we begin our spiritual journey, we start in a state of spiritual ignorance, so there are many things we don't understand as deep as we need to. Growth comes from building the path of our journey with teeth and nails but with the conviction of coming out of it as better people, equipping ourselves on the go. One of the heaviest rocks we need to remove is guilt. 

In Christianity it is common knowledge that when you accept Jesus in your heart, all your sins are forgiven thanks to His sacrifice on the cross and the power of God's Grace. Yet, though we expect this to happen as a magical spell in which the weight of our sins is lifted off our shoulders, we find that the guilt is still there. Why? Is it that He didn't forgive me? He absolutely did, but we are the ones holding tight to that weight.  

The reason why our guilt of the sins we committed is still there is because we haven't forgiven ourselves.

Just as we are our worst critics when we see our bodies in front of the mirror, we are also are strongest condemners when it comes to things we have done in the past that we regret. If we don't let go of those anchors, we won't be able to move forward and we're going to have a lot of difficulties forgiving those who hurt us as well. But how do we do that?

Life has taught me that everything happens for a reason. Everything, absolutely EVERYTHING is a piece of the puzzle that gives meaning to each of our lives. We can never understand why things happen when they happen but when we overcome the different seasons of hardship we endure through it, or better said, when we get out of the hole/tunnel, those things make absolute sense. They make us stronger, wiser, humble, but more importantly, they connect us, through understanding, to other people who have gone through similar challenges as well. When this happens, we understand others better, and the reasons why they did what they did. We judge less and understand more. 

When we understand, we love. When we love, we forgive. When we forgive, we grow spiritually- We become better humans.

So, I invite you to look back at all those things that hurt in the past and present. Make a list if you need to have them in writing. I challenge you to make a "Life Map". Connect the dots. Find the connection of these experiences with who you are now. How did they shape you? Think of choice situations; what would have happened if I made a different choice? Where would I be?

For example: My experience with my first job in Canada as a Live-in Caregiver was bad; I was humiliated constantly and living in fear. When I was close to meeting the time criteria to apply for my permanent residence, I was laid off (6 months short!). Being in a constant negative environment for 18 months without my family here to aid me brought me to depression. I had to go to counselling and deal with all the changes at the same time. With the help of friends I was able to find a job very quickly as a live-in caregiver to finish the time I needed. This second job was the best thing that happened to me; not only was the family kind but their trust in me and the love they gave me help to heal me. At this point, I saw my first experience as a blessing in disguise. Why? Because if I hadn't gone through such an awful experience, I wouldn't have appreciate the new family the way I did. It put me in the shoes of many immigrants trying to make their dreams come true and believing in a better life when going back is not an option. It made me understand people who live with depression every day; I know how it feels. I learned to put my pride aside and ask for help and many other things that would make this a very long post. I was angry with myself for a long time because I felt I allowed all that to happen but I understood it wasn't something I chose, it was something I needed to go through to humble me and connect more with not only myself but many others in many different levels. The experience was used to make me a better version of myself and every little thing and every person involved played a huge part on it. 

What would have happened if I had chosen to give up and just go back to my country? I wouldn't have met my husband, my amazing son wouldn't exist, I would be struggling with finding a job in a third world country so my family could survive each month, I wouldn't be able to be a photographer or help my family in the way I wanted and I would definitely not be here right now sending light your way to help you and guide you to overcome your own challenges and grow the amazing beauty that resides inside you and it's waiting to shine out.

Yes. Absolutely everything happens for a reason but this understanding and healing begins with forgiving yourself first. The weight WILL be lift off if you let go of it. Do you receive that?

The Beauty Of Trying New Things And How Liberating It Can Be

I have a confession: I'm a scaredy cat when it comes to trying new things or on a more positive light, I'm too cautious. I can try new food (if it's not spicy) and activities in which the risk might be getting highly bored or disappointed, but trying activities that involve some risk, or athletics of some sort? Not cut for that.

Why? Well, I guess that being a person that can learn from other people's mistakes can be a blessing but it does kick you in the butt from time to time. When it comes to these experiences, I automatically imagine all the gone-wrong scenarios from deadly situations to how embarrassed I can come out of it. I'm the kind of person that feels uneasy on the deep end of the pool. Not because I can't swim but because I have that eerie feeling that something is going to come out from the depths of the water and suck me in, like a Jaws movie (I watched that movie when I was too little. It's clear it left a mental wound. Also the Thriller music video. I still get the chills even though I know it's poor makeup compared to today's standards). 

So how is it to live this way? Well, quite horrible I have to admit! I know I'm missing out a lot of things even as I have found myself watching friends enjoy it but the fear has always taken the best of me and I hate it. Did not appreciate that my comfort zone was so little it was imprisoning me.

Just as the late Jim Rohn used to say: 

"If you want things to change, you have to change"

I knew I had to do something about it and so I finally did. And it was a week of firsts.

My husband and I went to Puerto Vallarta for a friend's wedding and we stayed for a week. I have to admit that having my trusty non judgemental hubby by my side was a big aid because I never felt pressured, forced or to the opposite, overly cared for. 

So here's my list of firsts:

Going on a week trip without my son. This was a huge thing for me. Imagine all the worse scenarios that can come out of this! But boy! We needed that time for ourselves.

- Boogie Boarding. I had so much fun with it that I went for hours on at the beach until everything hurt. Yes, my swim bottoms left me looking like the Coopertone girl a bunch of times but I did not care; just laughed it off and pulled them back up.

- Zip Line. I did it! I second, third, fourth, fifth guessed so much before lifting my legs that the instructor started encouraging me to quit instead. I took so long that my husband had already reached the last lap. But I kept telling myself "I have to do this, for me". It was so worth it! I looked at fear in the face and I won, ha!

Dolphin encounter. It was a 

childhood dream come true. Always dreamed of it but was a little afraid I would freak out once I got in front of the dolphins. Did not happen. I was so ecstatic about it that I enjoyed every ounce of it and even let a sea lion kiss me as well. How cool is that!

Underground beach (aka Marieta Islands). Those 2 words would have scared me away at first. They did. But I really wanted to see it (it's on the list of places to visit before you die). So I blindly paid for it and went. What did I face on this adventure? Swimming 200m in a jelly fish infested water in open sea to reach the underground beach and doing it twice (yes, I got stung in multiple parts of my arms; luckily I was wearing a wet suit which protected the rest).

Snorkeling. We did it at the Marieta Islands. I've never snorkelled for fear of seeing something I did not want to be close to (like a shark!) but it was very enjoyable. I still hesitated multiple time to look in the water but hubby made it into an "I spy" game.

Kayak. Still in the open sea on the area of Marieta Islands. I've always wanted to try it but I don't know why I hesitated so much about it. It was as wonderful as I pictured it!

I concluded three things:

1. I did not die, hooray!

2. If I embarrassed myself or a hiccup showed on the way, laughed at myself and I counted it as a blessing because I have now a story to tell. it created an anecdote I will go back to for the rest of my life and it will sure bring me joy to remember it.

3. When I did embarrassed myself, I was the first one laughing. Laughing at my own misadventures actually made me love myself more and appreciate all the wonderful opportunities God pours over me to enjoy His creation. 

Once I started, I couldn't stop. Every time I left my comfort zone it was as if I was having another step towards freedom. It was very liberating! Not only did I enjoy myself, I learned more about me and all the things I'm capable of that didn't believe I was built to do. I felt accomplished; when you feel this way it's satisfying and empowering. Giving myself the chance of trying new things showed me higher levels of courage and strength I didn't think I had; it fed my curiosity of "what else am I capable of"? 

Just as the hardest part of getting in the water is jumping in it (that first dip is always so cold!), the most difficult part of giving myself the opportunity of freeing myself from fear was taking the first step. It truly was. 

What made me do it after so many years? Finally believing in full understanding and consciousness that there was more to life and I was missing out big time. I had to be convinced that I had to make a change in my life and it would only start if I started it. Living your life at its fullest doesn't start on it's own. It need your nudge and only you can do it.

Words that kept me encouraged:

YOU ARE DOING IT FOR OWN GOOD

YOU DESERVE TO ENJOY LIFE AT ITS FULLEST

NOBODY CAN STILL FROM YOU WHAT YOU'VE DANCED, TRAVELLED AND EATEN (a colombian phrase)

THE FIRST STEP IS THE WORST ONE, DON'T WORRY

DON'T THINK IT TOO MUCH, JUMP!

YOU WILL BE HAPPY YOU DID IT 

IT'S BETTER TO DO SOMETHING AND REGRET IT, THAN TO REGRET NEVER DOING IT

Are you ready to try a new first?

What is your most recent "first'? 

How did it make you feel? 

Why did you do it? 

Would love to hear all about it!

FRANQ Magazine And Why I Had To Write About It

If you are a faithful reader of my blog, you're very familiar by now with my post "The Ugly Betty Story And Why I Want To Show Your True Beauty To The World". That part of my life happened between the ages of 12 and 18. Yes, 6 years having low thoughts about myself.

That age range is the most vulnerable of all regarding body image and self confidence, and the most susceptible to be shaped by information thrown their way regarding these subjects, because teens are in the development time of their lives on which they are discovering who they are as an individual, instead of as a member of a family, which is how they identified themselves when they were younger.

So today, while doing searches on Twitter (I'm into that now, to find awesome people who stand for what I stand for), I stumbled upon this Teen Magazine: FRANQ. It wasn't the Twitter name that caught my attention initially but an image they shared:

So, being the curious lady I am, I went to their website and checked all I could (I still have no idea which city it belongs to, so if you know, please tell me!).

I have to admit, I'm so excited about this concept! I love how most of the collaboration work is made also by teens (in fact, the promotional video was made by an intern who is 17). For example, Maria Dasoo, a teenage writer wrote an amazing poem from which I took out my favourite verse (perhaps because it relates with the Reveal Your True Beauty concept):

"My body is not to be objectified, but to be personalized"

How did this magazine started? With a "WHAT IF" question:

What if...

There was a magazine that created an environment to empower girls in all areas of their lives, from becoming body positive, to achieving their most audacious dreams and goals. Showcasing the possibilities in life, not constrained by the “ideals” set out before them.

What if...

There was a magazine that showed girls as girls, in all shapes and sizes and in all their glory, by using REAL teen girls as their models WITHOUT THE USE OF PHOTOSHOP.

What if...

There was a magazine that challenged all of the current parameters of beauty in the media.

They want to take the next step (and rightfully so!) to engage more teen girls in positive image and self awareness. That is why they are doing a crowd funding on Indiegogo which I strongly invite you to support. What impact can this magazine generate on our teenaged girls? I'll let another image shared by FRANQ Magazine answer that question for you: